Only dead fish go with the flow

Do you take full responsibility for your own life or do you walk someone else’s path?
Do you chase after your dreams or do you just follow the crowd like a tiny fish?

This blog post is about the necessity of taking full responsibility. I will share with you how I am learning to go my own way without waiting for other people to make decisions for me and hand me everything on a silver plate.

Go the extra mile it is never crowded.- Mel Robbins

In the last two months I have learned so much about myself and life in general. For example, I realised I have been going with the flow a lot. When I didn’t know how to decide, I asked other people for their opinion and then chose what fit me best. I don’t say that this is entirely wrong to ask others for help or their opinion, but the problem was that I didn’t decide for myself, even though I often knew what was best for me.

I developed this habit of depending on my closest friends and leaning on them like they could pave the way for me. Not going my own way and putting in the work is easy, and it is scary as hell to realise that you are the only captain of your ship and have to decide what kind of life you want to live. The problem with that mindset is, that you don’t live YOUR life, because if you always follow others you won’t get to where you want to be. No one else has the same vision you have for your life. It is great to have friends you can rely on, but don’t make yourself dependent on them and only follow them. You have to walk your own path as well.

Photo of Peter Rogers taken by Verena Waldschütz

 

If you want to get somewhere you have to work for it. For example, if you want to move from Miami (Florida) to Munich (Germany) it is YOU who has to organize the move. No one will do it for you! Telling people around you about your mission can help, because they may have skills or ideas which can help you on your journey,but in the end it is you who has to move.

There will be people who support, encourage and help you. Maybe you have mentors in your life who guide you on your way, but still YOU make the decision and put in the hours to reach your goal.

I decided that from now on I will have to make some changes and I would love to take you on my journey of learning how to be more responsible for my life choices.

Listen to your own intuition

I had developed a habit of waiting for other people to make decisions for me. No matter how major they were. The problem was that I didn’t really trust my own intuition. For example, I had to study for an exam, but I knew that I needed a break. Instead of doing what I thought was right, I called up friends and asked them what they would do.

How should they know how good I am at that particular subject or what is best for me?

When I feel like asking a friend now, I first ask myself “Verena, what feels right to you and how would you decide?” and then I follow my own intuition. That way I learn to believe in myself more.

There will be drawbacks which is normal, just take baby steps into the right direction. A baby also starts to crawl before it learns to run. If you do something new, start with baby steps, because it is totally normal that you are not going to be an expert right away. 

Today I made a decision and wasn’t quite sure if it was right, so I called a friend, told her about it and asked for her opinion. The difference is that I had already made the decision.

Do the things which make you nervous

The thought of taking a holiday by myself makes me hesitate. I doubt that I would have a great time without anyone to share it with. The first thoughts which come up in my head are: 

What will I do if  something goes wrong, can I actually plan a trip on my own, what do I have to think of?

There are all those natural worries, because I have never done it before, but if I want to be able to trust myself and travel the world one day, I need to get over that hesitation.

It is ok to be scared at first, but just do it anyway. You will feel so much better and belief in yourself more after you have done it. It takes a little push at first, but over time it will get easier and you will start to enjoy living a life outside your comfort zone.

Whatever you face in life, meet it knowing that you will figure it out. Keep a positive attitude and remember your strength. -Brendon Burchard

Go after our dreams

I used to think: If I want to spread more positivity into the world, be a motivational trainer and life coach, opportunity will come knocking at my door when the time is right. Today I know that no one will hand anything to me unless I show effort, talk about it and look for chances.

No matter how small you start, start something that matters. -Brendon Burchard

It doesn’t matter how small you start, but the point is to start. For example I started by creating a Whatsapp group in which I share inspiring content about personal development. Today I do things which get me in the right direction more often. This way I will get to where I want to be.

Are you taking enough responsibility in your life or in which areas are you still going with the flow a little too much?

If there is no way, create one. – Jeremy McGilvrey

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