Does spending time alone feel weird or relaxing to you?
I have no idea what your days look like right now. Maybe you have your own family, a really busy job and you always want to be there for everyone. After a while of living this busy life giving your energy to everyone but yourself, you may realise that you also need some time alone to rejuvenate. Don’t forget to check in on yourself, if you won’t, who else will?
If this sounds familiar to you then please keep reading, because today I will tell you about my own struggle with spending time alone and how I dealt with it.
Since I was 17 years old, I lived in a university student accommodation, where I share a unit with two wonderful girls. During these last couple of months there was always someone here, either my room mates or friends of mine, and when I was not at home, I was around other people as well. When the holidays came around everything seemed to change since my room mates went back home to their families. This felt uncomfortable at first, because I got so used to always having someone around. So suddenly with them being away, I was kind of forced to spend more time alone. At the beginning it felt weird, especially at night. My home felt so quiet and empty, even if I turned loud music on.
I wanted to be okay with spending time by myself again, because I realised that I made myself dependent on others a lot by not wanting to be in an empty home. I knew I had to get used to it again, but I didn´t know how to at first. So, what were my first steps?
Value the peace
I reprogrammed my mind from thinking about alone time as loneliness to valuing the time for myself.
This means I had to begin to understand: I am enough, and I can give myself anything I want. I had to fill the space around me, which felt quiet before, with my own aura and light and brighten it up with my personality. After having shifted my mindset and enjoying being alone by myself again, I didn’t really dwell on it as much anymore. Like, for example, when I had friends over and they were about to leave, I didn’t make them stay as I used to. I was okay with just watching a movie or reading a book by myself.
I travelled alone
Please don’t get me wrong, I didn’t quite travel on my own to far away places, maybe someday though! No, I wanted to experience more things on my own. At first, I went on a two-hour-walk around my city without listening to music (since my phone was out of battery). Before that day it would have seemed impossible to me to do something like that. I thought it would be boring, but actually it was nice to walk around the lake and being able to experience it at my own pace. I could also take breaks during my walk when I felt like it.
Furthermore, I went to a museum by myself. During the holidays I had to commute to the university in Vienna to hand in my assignment, and afterwards I went to a public museum, called the Secession. It was amazing to be able to look at the art for as long as I wanted to and I didn’t have to worry about other people, already wanting to move on.
After a while I also realised that I don’t need to invite anyone, if I want to try out a new recipe. I could just cook something delicious for myself. Over time I started to enjoy cooking, not only doing it for survival but for fun.
I prioritiesed making time during the week for my hobbies like knitting a scarf, painting and reading. Although I still have to learn that I don’t always have to be productive, I can just sit down and relax from time to time and the world is not going to end.
I hope that you found value in this blog entry and that I could give you some ideas if you find it hard to spend time by yourself. I can’t tell you how important it is to look after your body and soul, as well as being there for others.
How do you feel about being alone at home, does it feel relaxing or does it freak you out? What small action could you take today to practice some self care and spend time by yourself?
Until next time, love yourself as much as you love other people!