Is spending time on your own weird or relaxing?
Good morning, people!
I hope that you are doing well! I have no idea what your days look like, but maybe you have your own family, a really busy job, but regardless, you always want to be there for everyone. This might sound really great and familiar to you, but after a while of living this kind of life, you may realise that you also need some time alone. Don’t forget to look out for yourself too from time to time. Because if you won’t, who else will?
If this kind of story sounds familiar to you then please keep reading, because today I will tell you about my own struggle with spending time alone and how I dealt with it.
Since I was 17 years old, I lived in a university student accommodation, where I share a unit with two other girls. During these last couple months there was always someone here, either my room mates or my boyfriend, and when I was not at home, I was around other people as well. When the holidays came around everything seemed to change: my room mates went back home to their families and my boyfriend went on a skiing trip for a week. This felt uncomfortable at first, because I got so used to always having someone around. So suddenly with them being away, I was kind of forced to spend more time alone. At the beginning it felt really weird, especially at night. My home felt so quiet and empty, even if I turned on loud music.
I really wanted to be okay with spending time by myself again, because I realised that I made myself dependent on others a lot by not wanting to be in an empty home. I knew I had to get used to it again, but I didn´t know how to at first. So, what were my first steps?
Value the peace!
I had to reprogram my mind from thinking about alone time as loneliness to valuing the time for myself.
This means that I had to understand that I am enough, and I can give myself anything I want. I had to fill the space around me, which felt quiet before, with my own aura and light. I had to brighten it up with my personality. After having shifted my mindset and enjoying being alone with myself more again, I didn’t really dwell on it as much anymore. Like, for example, when I had friends over and they were about to leave, I didn’t make them stay as I used to do. I was okay with just watching a movie or reading a book by myself.
I travelled alone!
Please don’t get me wrong, I didn’t quite travel on my own to far away places, maybe someday though! No, I wanted to experience more things on my own. At first, I went on a two-hour-walk around my city without listening to music (because my phone didn’t have any battery left). Before that I couldn’t really think of doing something like that. I thought it would be boring, but it was actually it was so nice walking around the lake in winter and being able to experience it at my own pace. I could also take breaks during my walk without feeling bad for it.
As well as that, I went to a museum by myself once. During the holidays I had to go to university in Vienna to hand in my alignment, and afterwards I went to a public museum, the Secession. It was really amazing to be able to look at the art for as long as I wanted to and I didn’t have to worry about other people, who might already go to the next sculpture or artwork.
After a while I also realised that I don’t need to invite anyone, if I want to try to cook a new meal. I could just cook something really delicious for myself. Over time I started to enjoy doing things in the kitchen again, and didn’t just see them as silly responsibilities to have food on my plate.
I also found it really important again to make time during the week for my hobbies like knitting a scarf, painting and reading. Although I still have to learn that I don’t always have to be productive, I can also just sit down and relax from time to time.
I really hope that you found some value in this blog entry and that I could give you some ideas if you also find it hard to just spend time with yourself from time to time too. The goal of this blog post is to encourage you to plan time during the week to just spend with yourself and doing things you love. I can’t tell you how important it is to look after your body and soul, as well as being there for others.
My main aim was to be able to spend time alone, to be more independent from others, and to not feel limited by not being having alone time.
So, if you could take one action today of selfcare it is this:
Think about how you feel about being alone at home?
Does it feel nice and relaxing or does it freak you out?
Until next time, love yourself as much as you love other people!